I WANT TO DESTROY MY BODY

Walls

I've built up these walls so high that I can't seem to break it down.
How stupid was it of me to not build a door?
Stay in confinement.
starve...
starve.
my body of it's nutrients.
I want to be sickly
I want to be frail
I don't want anyone trying to help me.
Let me get thin.
Let me kill myself slowly.
These are what the walls are for
I don't want you here so please leave me alone.
This is why there is no door.
But sometimes it gets lonely here
so lonely I crave company.
My company all leave me though so I don't want them around for long
I would rather to the disposing instead of the other way around.

you hide behind a smile and i wish i could say i could see though it
but sometimes i can't, you're that good now
you know that's not a good thing
i cry the tears that you keep in
i feel the hurt that you feel
maybe even more because i can't understand why you keep it locked away
when you have people like me that care so much for you
it's like you don't even know that
you're so god damn selfish
i could punch you but i know that during that processes
my fist would open up and go right through you
a ghostly embrace because it's been so long since i've last seen you
i'm only there mentally
my physical being ceases to carry the warmth
the weight of the world is on your shoulders and you bear it by yourself
but little do you know that you're on my shoulders
the thing is you're a weight i don't mind carrying
one day though i know you'll step off my shoulders i'll be able to lift the world and hurl it off yours.
i promise you that day will come

i'm not gonna waste my time on someone that thinks little of me
so don't fool yourself kid you're not that great

we are an off beat melody
trying to intertwine and harmonize
our timing is off and i wish we knew how to keep in time with each others beats
at times i doubt your words
i really do believe that part of them are fake sometimes though just sometimes
because they don't match up with what you have just done
you're a day late friend
it's been this crazy dance
me then you then me
we're never dancing in step with each other
i'm waiting for that day when we don't miss each other by a split second
when we can stop this stupid dance
and just melt.

i'm trying to be the better person
but you make it oh so difficult because you're crossing lines that shouldn't be crossed
you're tempting my anger fueling it with every little word you say
if i happen to figure out who you are
i can honestly tell you i might not hold back
don't you ever fucking think that you can diss my friends and get away with you
one way or another you better watch your fucking ass