thought process malfunction.
i'm drawing a blank.
fuck.

disgusting little world.
oh how we distort a lovely thing called love
how twisted and tainted this thing that's supposed to be as pure as fresh snow
in romance movies i've come to realize they teach us such horrendous things
as one character who is taken meets they're true love else where
whether it's on a trip or something of the sort.
yes the two are meant to be and they are so very attracted to each other
they end up kissing and what not and WE think it's SO CUTE.
but you forget that one of them or both have a fricken partner already
we shun the fact that they are cheaters just because they're supposed to be together, they are soul mates, true loves, yadayada.
but when it comes down to it they are the cheaters that we complain about
the liars, the "omg how could they do this to me that fucking bitch/bastard."
we cause so much drama about cheaters we ask for pity from people we know and meet when someone has cheated on them but we awe at those cute little movies.
"i love you" isn't worth much now kids say it all the time to their boyfriends or girlfriends of a week or a month then they break up and repeat the words to the next darling.
people fall in and out of love daily and they call it love. psh i call it lust.
people hop around like it's nothing and they call it love. i'm so in love with blah blah then a week or two later i'm so in love with bleh bleh. i love you so and so. i love you this and that. shut the fuck up! how can that be love?
in my point of view it's so far from love.
i must say i am disappointed greatly at those who've cheated or those who cannot tell the difference between love and lust.
it makes me beyond sad when i hear about my friends that cheat even more sad about the people they cheated on. how horrible it must feel i know.
yet you go around saying things like cheating is so bad i'd never do it or god who in the right mind would cheat when they have all that they want.
you should be so fucking ashamed of yourself. even if you are my friend you deserve the punishment coming your way because karma will shove a foot in your ass.
i don't like those talkers to say something they're not just a load of bull shit streaming from their mouths.
i don't like people that tell you things but doesn't have actions to back up their words
i don't like a lot of people in this world and i have reasons why i don't
they make me sad to be apart of this race.
they disappoint me
they are horrible examples
they are weak and easily molded[perhaps i am too maybe i dislike myself]
they are hypocrites, liars, selfish,spoiled, self loving people.
the adults can't see that we look up to them as kids look up to teens.
so what kind of example are you showing us with the divorce rates going up? that marriages aren't till death do us part but only till whenever i feel like it. you bore me get the fuck out of my life.
what kind of example are you showing us with movies filled with lust? let's all be sluts because that's hot. go ahead cheat it'll work out for you.
so what kind of example are we supposed to follow?
our world is so corrupted i am so very ashamed to be a part of this world.
mother earth is trampled on and polluted on. she is misused and abused.
people are not perfect i understand but i think we are pushing the limit.
i am disgusted daily and at times i disgust myself.
how is it so? we are supposed to be the intellectual ones but i don't see why we are.

fuck you, you little cunt.
you are everything you say you're not
you need someone by your side when you say you're independent
you hop around friend to friend so where's the ones that are true
they're down in the dump where you have thrown them now they don't give a shit about you.
you brought it on yourself yet you act like you're the victim
go cry about to your little fake friends and see them pity you
ah but you like that attention you plain little thing.
you spout out things you feel are so REAL.why? because you are SO REAL.
bull shit bull shit bull shit flows out of your mouth like a waterfall.
YOU ARE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE!!
pick up your own pieces because i'm no longer gonna be there for you
unless you get your pathetic act together.

i need to clear my head
i need to organize and clarify what exactly is going on
i enjoy hanging out with you i like you as a friend nothing more
yet when you put your face so close to mine that our noses are touching i want to simply kiss you.
you body language says that i'm not the only one feeling that way
you seem to throw yourself at me every chance you can making it seem casual like it's what friends do
but you see it's not what just friends do
you throw your arm me often and i'm tempted to rest my hand on your side
you are a bad temptation
but what puzzles me most is the fact that i see you as a friend but you run through my mind from time to time.
i enjoy your presence it lets me be the true me
i can be a dork around you and not care about what i loser i might seem like because you just laugh and join along with me
night talks about life, questions about blissful moments, meaning of everything, talks about everything and anything
you and i are becoming closer
and i would like to remain friends with you
i don't want anything to change so press the pause button
and stop holding me
stop putting your face to mine tempting me to graze those lips that are only a few inches away
lets keep what we have
lets leave things like this
lets not move on or go back to that one moment we had long ago.
constant

.:you are so fucking annoying. grow the fuck up and stop looking for sympathy. text me when you get home you say now why the fuck would i want to do that i mean has it ever occurred to you that maybe i don't want to fricken talk to you? hmm that maybe i'm getting annoyed because it seems like you would like me to talk to you every fricken second i'm alive? look here sir i'm not going out with you i'm not ever going to so stop trying to keep me in chains. stop stop stop i dont want to talk to you for a while now so just stop jumping to your own conclusions and asking me if it's what you think because you doing that is making me mad angry annoyed and disgusted. ouch right? well i'm not sorry because that's the honest truth:.

-rant end-

my mind is over-flowing with thoughts ideas and words
but when i try to write them down i freeze up
i can no longer seem to share my thoughts as openly.