i am not strong enough to let you go
but i am not weak enough to just find another
i am not mean enough to become ice cold to you and harden my heart
but i am not nice enough to wish you the best without me
i am not pesimistic enough to think that i am nothing to you
but i am not optimistic enough to think that everything will be okay in the end.
so what am i?

a kid about to get his toy taken away

day after day i waited to see your smile on your face. day after day i waited for you to tell me that you loved me day after day i waited and waited for you to return to me. that day seemed so unreachable. these days i seem to miss you even if i was right beside you. the smile i wished to see has disappeared and tears ran down my face. the words that i wished to hear never left your mouth and my heart fell to the floor. i miss you. i never heard the i miss you too. yet i would still say in my heart i miss you hoping to hear you say the same. what is the difference now? why do you show me attention now? you have put me in such a sorrowful situation. my heart rips into two. love you. then a new happiness. i want to see you smile make you smile but i would like to make him smile too. my heart like my mind is in turmoil now. i'll probably make a cowardly decision and possibly just run away from it all. breaking heart.

as far as i can see

all your words don't mean shit
and like your words i don't mean shit to you
don't tell me that's not true because it's all laid out
right here in the open so please stop
it's really just better if you shot me
i am at my wits end with you
you drain life out of me you drain everything out of me
and i have become a lifeless doll.
i love you i hate you
because of you i am dead.
all the words you said never matched up with action empty words
i hate them
i hate how you're becoming
all you want to do is get fucked up
that's like you giving up taking the easy way out
i never knew you were so weak so selfish so childish
do what you like .
you put too much strain on me.

pathetic

FUCK THIS. FUCK THIS. FUCK THIS. FUCK THIS. FUCK THIS. FUCK THIS. FUCK THIS. FUCK THIS. FUCK THIS. FUCK THIS. FUCK THIS. FUCK THIS. FUCK THIS. FUCK THIS. FUCK THIS. FUCK THIS. FUCK THIS. FUCK THIS. FUCK THIS. FUCK THIS. FUCK THIS. FUCK THIS. FUCK THIS. FUCK THIS. FUCK THIS FUCK THIS. FUCK THIS. FUCK THIS. FUCK THIS. FUCK THIS. FUCK THIS. FUCK THIS. FUCK THIS. FUCK THIS. FUCK THIS. FUCK THIS. FUCK THIS. FUCK THIS. FUCK YOU. FUCK THIS. FUCK THIS. FUCK THIS. FUCK THIS . FUCK THIS. FUCK THIS.



no one but you can make me feel this shitty but no one but you can make me feel so happy.
i wish i could really say fuck you/fuck this and put all of my heart into it
but i really can't and it sucks.
i think though i would never blame you
all i can say is i hate myself.