live for tomorrow even if you're scared to

phone off
i don't want to talk to anyone no one at all
because it's all the same their responses
they think they're so different from everyone else. hahaha.


i wish i had a pause button that way i could pause life and just think everything through
i think that would take awhile
i don't know where i am in life
i have a year left in school that's not enough
i now live for tomorrow because a year ago i lived for today
and that messed things up my health my academics my relationships
my fault for lack of better judgement
that's why i will live for tomorrow until i die
that's why i'll take the consenquences
i bash myself though i know
it's what i'm doing now
always and forever that's something i'm always gonna do
because in my mind i'll never be good enough
i was stupid now what?
i might not have a future
i'm not at all who i want to be
not at all who i dreamed to be when i was little
i'm no princess i'm no kid that excelled in school i'm nothing at all
no where at all near the point where i want to be
in looks in thought in academics in kindness in caring anything
i am not beautiful inside or out
i am just me average possibly but no where near radiantly shining with the inner bueaty
i'm not even a daughter my parents could be proud of
i'm still trying so i can be less of a failure than i feel

and there is no talking to people about this
their replies will always be the same you hear it over and over and over again
maybe that's the truth but i don't want to hear it
i just don't want to hear anything anymore see anything
live through anything
i feel so tired already with everything

it's funny at times though how i view myself as high and mighty
i look down on people
i'm easily disgusted with people
humans ughh i hate being one their flesh bodies so easily broken
their minds jumble up with such useless information at times
they can't do things on their own they're kind of like puppets
whose ever puppets they are
we might just be the items in a little boy's shoe box
this world he built it like how we did with legos when we were kids
one of many shoeboxes he has this is one of them


i'm tired i live in fear of tomorrow
not to fade away with the time of yesterday