it's far too tiring...

tell me everything will be alright close your eyes and dream of me tonight tell that you won't just fade away cross my heart and hope to die tonight i'll dream my pain away.

stumbling.

tripping.

falling.

oh so madly in love.

but how long can you hold on when you feel it's one sided?

rock bottom.

it's so frustrating. so disappointing. so everything.

from the start there was just all this talk talk talk talk talk.

and there were doubts at were brought up by friends.

shove them away, fuck that because sweet words made me deaf to everything else.

now i really can't believe half the things you say

i don't know if it's just this constant "talk"

maybe one day you'll realize maybe you won't

but it's not today or tomorrow that i know for sure.

i am no longer gonna run

whether i seem to fade out if you notice it then you do something about it

it happened because you didn't do anything about all of this

and i'm sick of people that can just talk and talk.

it doesn't cut it anymore.

i will let anyone else help me up unless you sincerly have thought it over.

help yourself first. i'm only here to help as much as i can but that does not mean i'll force you or lay out the path.

you're not a kid anymore.

.its on repeat again isn't it

wake up please . realize what's going on.

talk talk talk talk talk talk.

do you not see that you're driving yourself farther away

or the fact that you're looping yourrself in this cycle that you wished to get out of

you can make your own choices yeah

but i don't want to see you falter because of the same mistake

there are reasons

think about it think about what you are doing now

don't you see?

whatever pretty soon i'll let you see what mistake you made the hard way

and quite possibly i will not be there to comfort you

after all part of this mistake also includes mistrust and betrayal

watch it. i'm here now but i'm fading from the choices you make.

i am no longer
gone away
i'm not strong
there's is no more playing cool or keeping it in anymore
things are spinning out of control
things are flying zooming by
there is no more oh i don't care
because i care more than anything
i shouldn't get so worked up over it
but i'm so sick of it
haha you had your laughs now SHUT THE FUCK UP please...
your ever piercing eyes never leave
your echoing laugh haunts me
fingers pointed target locked
i wish i could erase my existance from this pityful plant where the words happiness, peace, love and hope are only a fragment of every wilting flowers
there are only a few to make me reconsider my wish
these days aren't so swell
in fact they don't come close to happy or content
people keep pushing it
i'm giving in to all their shit stupid weak coward WAKE THE FUCK UP
i know i know whatever
i listen to the words taht fly out of peoples mouth no it's not supposed to bother me because they don't know shit about you and that it's not true but it does bother me
i hate being placed into this outline of what people think i am because of my looks my bad habits my flaws
who the hell are you to judge me? exactly but why do i care? why do those words hit me so hard?
offensive. they hurt more than if i were to be gutted.
i feel so done with everything
i hate living in this fake judgemental world where all that matters is power wealth and outside appearance
you don't know shit about anything
so laugh it up before you get crushed too by the same people that laughed with you
the world is small he will find a way to break you down
and she will find a way to rip you apart
and they will find a way to make you feel so low
that's the fucking world you live in
you say you'll rise above haha just keep trying let's see how far you can go
when betrayal envy hate is so strong.

i am not a doll waiting on your shelf
waiting waiting constantly waiting for the day the child will once again hold me.

















i will soon make the decision, you have been putting off , for you
step out so that your view is clearer. the hurt is nothing that i haven't felt before
i will with time control it and soothe it. so don't worry if you see tears they'll stop falling when there are no tears left to cry.