the feeling of deja vu restricts me once more

i thought i got over it but it seems to have crept back up to me

mike i'm so sure you've messed up my head so badly unless i was always like this

i can't help but think that cody will go back to lindsey

mike loved karissa

he never stopped loving her

cody loved lindsey

he never stopped loving her

karissa came first

lindsey came first.

it makes sense doesn't it

i shake with the thought of it

i fall i falter i can't keep cool i always break down

compared to karissa compared to lindsey

i'm sure i'm no match

i might not know them but i'm sure i am tiny compared to them

karissa who has been through a lot with you mike

karissa who knows you so much better

karissa who has known you longer

karissa who has you crawling back to her

lindsey who has been though so much with you cody

lindsey who knows you inside and out

lindsey who has stood beside you for much longer than i

lindsey who has you crawling back for more?

i am no match

and i am scared.

i want to be strong i will always love you that i know

but i'm scared what if ?

it's happened before...

i keep having these dreams that i wake up crying and screaming

before they would be scary dreams filled with ghost and monsters

now it's a dream of mike leaving me for karissa and you cody leaving me for lindsey

and i am utterly alone

there is no one else in the dream but me mike karissa lindsey and you cody

after mike leaves happily smiling with karissa

you appear fix me up and place a smile upon my face

then all of a sudden lindsey is calling your name

you turn and smile a smile i've never seen on your face before

you get up and walked towards her turning back only for a little bit to say"i love her much more she was first."

from there on the background is dark and i'm standing in a room

karissa and lindsey appear laughing and smiling

and these words echo around

"all the sweet words they haave said were empty"

"rebound"

"we were first."

"our love is greater."

"you were no match"

and i look at both of them and say"...what about when you said i'll never leave you...i love you"

mike appears next to karissa "i love karissa her and her only always"

that part hurts but not too much what hurts the most is when cody appears "i'll never leave you... lindsey."

as if to mock me all of you smile and walk away

cody you stop and turn just to smile and pull lindsey closer before walking away.

i wake up my pillow is soaked and my cheeks wet

my thoart hurts as if a thousand needls got jammed in it

insecurity

i need some reassurance

i don't know why but i'm not reassured enough for this to pass my mind

to make me feel at ease.

my head pounds telling me to distance myself but i don't want you cody to ever think i've lost interest

i love you

my heart beats yet this fear is making me quake.