if we could just be immobile for sometime

and finally figure out the way we feel about the missing puzzle pieces and cloudy question marks that still look a bit sureal


tired from lack of sleep
hungry from lack of food
i am fading

dependent on sleeping pills that don't help
hoodia and vitamin pills that doesn't help me reach my goal of gaining weight
coffee to keep me more alert throughout the day
cigarettes to soothe my plusing head to curve my hunger

i want to sleep but my eyes don't close
my head is clouded with nightmares and what ifs
i want to eaet but my throat closes up
whatever i force feed my stomach rejects

coffee because i can't be zoning out i have so much to do in a day even if it's summer
cigarettes because my head hurts, my heart rises and drops too quickly
hoodia and cigarettes to stop making me feel so hungry
vitamin pills and other supplements because i need essential minerals and vitamins to keep me from breaking

i am a sickly child
but even so i can't be bothered about these habits because there is one thing that clouds my mind