ba-bump......ba-bump......ba-bump......
eyes close body relaxes breathing evens out
this is the state i want to remain it
the state of rest the state of peace
REM or NREM i don't care.
i'm jumbled up i need to figure out
do i hate myself for putting myself into those situations
or do i dislike them for bringing me into those situations?
i can never put the blame on them but i want to point fingers.
there's too many these and those i need factor in
there's too many actions and words i need to add
there's too many dots i need to connect
and there's too many thoughts that might not even be facts that i need to consider
to sleep everything off would be a cowardly way out
to fall asleep and never wake up or to hibernate for a 100 no 1000 years
will it change anything?
probably not i'll still have conflicts with myself and the new friends i make when i wake.
so what's a solution to fix everything to make it the way it was?
what's the bold way to figure this out?
i need more doors that lead out rather than ones that take me in circles.
at this point i want to push people away but i really might need their help
i want to be alone but at the same time i want comfort
yet who are the people that will really help me
who are those people i call friends? why? new factors...new problem
i need to figure things out fast because i'm done fighting against the deep blue and i'm letting myself fall into it because i'm so tired of fighting it.
deep blue.
like water i'll sink down down down down
maybe the bottom will be pitch black with strange monsters scarier than the ones above
or maybe i'll find burried treasure.