it's funny that i still miss you even if i have found a reason to smile once more
it's funny that when i see you with someone other than me i break
yet if you were to come back i would now have to question myself would i take you back
this love is fucked up
it's fucked up that i still love you after the lies you told me, the times you cheated on me, hurt me.
because of you i'm insecure more than ever
i can't reach out to the person i want to reach out to
you have shaken my view and now lines are blurred and i keep thinking that everyone will be like you
i want to go to him forget about you
but because of you i'm too afraid to just let my heart go
venture out and explore to what could be a new paradise
you're still breaking me down messing with my head
i make connections that probably for most people seem really random
but you and him how we started talking was the same
how you and i, him and i shared our first kisses with each other under the same influence with the music blarring it's hard beats
how there was girl in your life before me that you truly loved and never fully let go
i see the things that really probably don't even matter
situations for you and him are different you two are TWO COMPLETELY DIFFERENT PEOPLE even down to values and morals
but still in the back of my mind it's bothering me now that i have realized this
i don't want to fall too hard for him and just run into his arms in the fear of him disappearing like you did
the fear that it'll turn out just like how it did with you
i'm done with flings i'm done with this weird mixture of love that you fed me
i want something real something that makes people envious
i want a lasting relationship
i want... that means it's not something requisite to live but to me it's a necessity
to love really truly love and to recieve the same pure love.
without it how will we live
but now because of you i'm too afraid to go out and find that love
even if it could be in my grasp.